Settled.

I found my "me and God" place here.

I can stand living in just about any place as long as I find a location in which I get away to. It has to be outside, have an atmosphere that is relaxing or meaningful to me, and it typically needs to be secluded or at least make me feel like I am alone. At Biola it is most commonly in the grass beneath this particular tree near the McNally campus. At home it is the Laguna Niguel Community Park, either on a bench or under a tree. Here, in DC, it is the deck on the top of the apartments.

Yesterday was an absolutely beautiful, balmy-50, clear day, and I dragged Rachelle up to the deck to enjoy the weather and get some photos of the views. Of course, this naturally turned into a windy photo shoot, but amidst the laughter, I was taken by the simple beauty. The wood of the benches and the fencing is well-worn, but I found it all very quaint: the crooked "Narnia lamps," the peak with the circular window in front, and even the splintery wood.

Furthermore, the view is both charming and breathtaking. An old-fashioned red brick church can be seen from behind, and the street in front is lined with trees currently consisting of long, bare branches, all painting the appearance of a little street in a small town. There was even a dog in the yard adjacent to our building yesterday that took up to glowering up at me and barking for the first five minutes we were out there. Small town. Cozy. Familiar.

But then looking farther out in front, the dome of the Capitol is clear as can be. I was grasped by the fact that the nation is being shaped daily there, right in front of me. People at home and across the seas are being affected every day by decisions made in that building. As I widened my vision, I could see the peaks of many prominent buildings. Looking around, buildings of all heights, shapes and colors go as far as the eye can see. I was struck with how many millions of people I was surrounded by, all with their own lives, their own meanings and their own views and relationships with God. There are so many people here. Some might be doing great things with their lives while others are simply watching it all pass by. Some might know God while others run. All are experiencing some degree of love and pain, exhuberance and disappointment.

I went back up there this afternoon, bundled only in a zip-up sweatshirt, and spent over an hour talking with God, reading his Word and writing. With the city -- our nation's capitol -- and the lives of millions stretched in front of me, I felt I could put more into perspective. Rediscover the meaning of being here, both here as in DC and here as in alive. Remember God's impact in my life, particularly over the hardships of this last year. If I were just living for myself, for my own achievement and happiness, I can guarantee that I would be depressed, or at least unfulfilled. I'm so thankful I'm not living for myself.

I start with internship with Religion News Service tomorrow at 9 a.m. I really am excited. This news wire provides unbiased news coverage of religion and ethical issues to over 100 publications all over the nation, including the Times, USA Today and the Washington Post. There is such potential to reach people everywhere. I am expecting difficult, frustrating, disappointing and probably boring times throughout the semester. But I want to do everything, big and small, with all the effort and passion I can muster. I want to glorify God with this work and be open to whatever He wants to show me through this experience. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. Simple as that. But I'm looking to God for answers, and I have faith He will reveal with time. And I know He can use my time here. I'm not expecting much, but I want to aim high in all I do. This was all mulled over on the deck this afternoon, as I was feeling the wind rush through my face and hair, overlooking the Capitol and the lives of millions.

I realize that when the snow and the rain and the negative degree weather starts up again this choice of location will either 1) Be impossible or 2) God will grant me with either more courage or more body fat. And I also realize that when the weather gets nicer, more students will probably begin frequenting this beautiful nook. But I think I will keep it. These little things are often the key to my sanity as well as an abundance of joy.